Spending my workdays browsing thousands of curated photographs has really made me more self-critical of my own work. Self-critical of many things, really. Hopefully that’s going to be a beneficial quality. Sometimes it just amounts to a wall of self-defeat. “If it’s not perfect, why bother?”
I’d like to capture some of the reckless imperfectionist of my 20s again and share more mistakes. So the above is a self-portrait where I’m having a very bad time taking a self-portrait. Next time I’ll wear pants without a hole in the crotch.
Saturday 6 – Andrew and I both woke up with the thought of a walk along Whiffin Spit. It was windy in town but bright blue skies behind the quickly passing clouds. But when we got to Sooke we found the front. It was a wall of that soaking mist that penetrates every layer. Hazel stomped happily through all the puddles along the spit. I need to get better at always packing my rain jacket. Still, it was a fun surprise and very refreshing.
Tuesday 9 – After many days of not socializing and being grumpy layabouts, we got out of the neighbourhood for a walk with Tina and Sean from Mouthjoy up to Summit Park. I’m not sure I’d been up there for ten years. There’s an artic front passing through, so it was very chilly but bright and beautiful. Snowdrops are popping up all over. Maybe the sunlight and return of colour is making us more hopeful.
It snowed today though (the 10th), which was blissful in its own way. Zoom calls were all punctuated with “oh it’s snowing!” My coworkers in Chicago and the Netherlands were sharing much more dramatic experiences and laughing at our light flurries. We just can’t help but be in wonder.
Saturday 13 – Oh so much more snow! It started falling quite heavily last night and continued through the morning. We were up late because the neighbours upstairs keep partying on the weekends til after 1am, and I get furiously jealous of them for enjoying their lives in boisterous ways right now. But it was beautiful to wake up this morning to a snowy city. Hazel played in the quiet streets with a dog pal from the building and learned how fun the snow really is to flop around in.
We headed for a walk through the harbour with Blair, Tom, Masako, and Tippi in the afternoon. Crunchy steps. Slushy waters. It’s definitely the annual magical day where people celebrate winter as a joy instead of a curse.
And we got back out with Hazel around dusk to see if she’d enjoy a longer walk now that she’d learned snow isn’t going to kill her. It was a pretty sweet stroll around the neighbourhood. Friendly faces, a break of light through the skies, and small surprises.
Sunday 14 – A snowy beach is always surreal.
Monday 22 – It’s so easy to get angry at people breaking rules right now. We went for a drink on the weekend and the ignorance in the place drove us out. It’s very difficult to channel that anger into anything worthwhile. And there are plenty of people reminding, “don’t worry about what’s a worthwhile way to spend your time through this.” But I can’t help but look at these months of boredom and only see unformed clay.
I’m finding joy in other places, though, like the small stacking crates we bought to organize produce in our pantry. Who knew that overpriced, colourful, folding, interlocking little boxes would be the highlight of my week? Probably everyone.